We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize