What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
