I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
