If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
