I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize