just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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