the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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