New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
