This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
