i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
