Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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