We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
