I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
