i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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