So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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