Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
