yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
