It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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