Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
