Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
