Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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