mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
