brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
