Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize