hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
