i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
