some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
