How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
