I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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