So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize