I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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