Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
