he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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