Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
