we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
