I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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