I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
