Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
