Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
