is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
