remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
