I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
