i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
