I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I could punch you in the face.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
