Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
