your room smells of hookers.
And success
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
