Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
so much tequila, so little girl.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
