Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize