So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize