I wish life had little blips of pornography
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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