you have to choose: penises or morals?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
