and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
