I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
