Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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