last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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