So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
