Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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