Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
