well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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