Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
